Tuesday, October 11, 2005

So much music...

One of the pleasurable priviledges of my life of the last couple of years has been the wholesale steeping of my life in music.

Though - as it's all done for work, whether or not I enjoy it - I sometimes feel like a psychic walking through a stadium full of mental patients. Hundreds of disparate voices...shrill, overwrought, despairing, hopeless, keening, proseletyzing, eager. Some so joyful I fear for their safety. All day they deliver this endless stream of communication, from a low throb to a hiss to a scream. And still, every day I dig to find the new ones.

I got a pair of tickets to see the Sons and Daughters' upcoming LA show. I'm flashing forward to nudging my way into a space below Spaceland's wacky disco ball and listening to those magical first beats take shape. Sharing a smile with the guy at the bar who's my unofficial, we've-never-spoken-but-he's-always-at-the-same-shows buddy.

And Imogen Heap is tomorrow. Have you ever had a band that sounds like your insides would sound if your heart played music? I have a couple, and she's definitely one. If you've ever listened to 'Headlock', you've had a stethoscope pressed to my chest.


Today has been making me think about What I Want. I'm very close to embarking on a professional partnership that could force my horizons more open than I'm ready for...the transition might fracture something. I'm not sure what - but I'm approaching this with no small trepidation. And no small excitement, either. Whatever breaks, I'll be better for it.

I feel very blessed. After processing this weekend's emotional overload, I realize the beauty of the people I've managed to convince to come close to me...that I'm lucky that they feel as strongly about me as they do, and that shouldering their travails for a while is small payment for the richness they've brought me.

I want adventure. I crave the new. Not novelty, mind you. Connection.

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