Friday, June 02, 2006

I.

Lately, everything irritates me. Everything. If someone waits too long to pick up a phone, I find it tooth-grindingly excruciating. Morning traffic makes me want to strangle a puppy. Lines at the bank jimmy my sanity up at the edges.

My focus is almost gone...too many close calls in traffic; too many slipped tasks. I didn't want to know that I was this close to nonfunctionality. Argh.

My creativity suffers pitiably from the amount of energy it's taking to handle the mussed logistics of this transitional moment. I miss creative-me - whether it's cooking or building something or so much as taking a few photos. I wonder how long it's going to be before I have the reins back in hand.

It's like Eddie Murphy in Bowfinger - "Keepittogetherkeepittogetherkeepittogether." And don't show it to the Lakers girls.

II.

I do so love to make plans. I love graphs and spreadsheets and charting a course. I love to talk about things that will happen weeks, months, years from now. Decades, even.

I'm starting to wonder if this makes me, officially, stupid.

If plans never come to be, then what's the point of expending the energy to make them?

3 comments:

vv said...

No, not stupid. Not at all. A whole host of other things -- spirited, striving, optimistic. I've tended not to make plans lately, because I don't want to be disappointed when they don't come true. But dreams are so important, I think. And sometimes they do come true. I'm trying to get my dreams back. I hope you don't lose yours.

Gwen said...

What you said reminded me of a quote dad used to say now and then:
"Oh but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a Heaven for?" -Robert Browning

Maybe we're totally missing the point of dreams and goals. Maybe the real merit isn't in acheiving them, but in simply HAVING them in the first place. Here's my theory...We can't have everything we wish for and work toward, but it's what happens to us on our way toward that dream that makes us who we are. *shrugs* Anywho. Man's reach and grasp have got meet in the middle now and then, so keep on reaching! *hugs*

Holly said...

Yep, I've had some of those days, weeks, months. I also agree with the comments left by the others here. Planning is fun, plan away! You can plan anything, and you don't even have to do it if you really don't want to.