Wednesday, September 26, 2007


I'm keeping my head above water, which is good. I'm not sputtering, which feels nice.

Problem is, I don't like the feeling of just swinging my legs in eggbeaters under my body. I wanna swim. I want to feel the water sliding over my back, and my hands cutting deep and pulling hard, and the giddy flipper-sounds of my feet behind me. Even if it means breathing a little seawater.

I've been exhibiting these little spikes of fear, lately. I don't feel fear like this when I'm moving forward, no matter how scary the situations I'm moving through. It's mortal fear - fear of intertia and staleness.

And Bear, you're right. Fantasyland can be a dangerous place, once you stop just visiting and start camping out there - and then homesteading.

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