I'm keeping my head above water, which is good. I'm not sputtering, which feels nice.
Problem is, I don't like the feeling of just swinging my legs in eggbeaters under my body. I wanna swim. I want to feel the water sliding over my back, and my hands cutting deep and pulling hard, and the giddy flipper-sounds of my feet behind me. Even if it means breathing a little seawater.
I've been exhibiting these little spikes of fear, lately. I don't feel fear like this when I'm moving forward, no matter how scary the situations I'm moving through. It's mortal fear - fear of intertia and staleness.
And Bear, you're right. Fantasyland can be a dangerous place, once you stop just visiting and start camping out there - and then homesteading.