Wednesday, November 14, 2007

alas, poor dell - i knew him well


I.

Some have wondered why it's taken me so long to realize that my relationship is fundamentally flawed. They're becoming more and more vocal about it; it's as though they were too polite to talk about it at first, but have been emboldened by my obvious frustration.

There are problems I just can't resolve, no matter now hard I try - and they're getting impossible to ignore, popping up with greater and greater frequency, demanding attention I just can't spare.

Also, I'm changing! My needs are changing; simply put, I need more. Right now, I need the comfort and security of real compatibility. And better-looking wouldn't hurt.

So I've decided to end it.

And all I can say is: Merry Christmas, me.

While I'm at it, I think I'll get a little religion, too.

II.

I love my videos - I do - but honestly, this is as informed a State-Of-The-Union treatise as you'll ever need.

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