Friday, December 28, 2007

tizzy


I.

Couldn't sleep last night. If I had, the zombies woulda got me. Slept fever-sleep with the covers pulled over my head.

Our collective unconscious is losing hope, feels like. Our dreams are of apocalypse, and there be tygers where we least expect them.

My mind has been full of weird questions today - about whether the world will end with a bang or a whimper, about the rising scream of Pakistan, about the cooking of red snapper, about Big Sisters and zombie survival strategies and whether to snap up a new couch before the end of the tax year. I'm glad I started the day in a cradle of yoga before I let my mind off its leash in this perilous landscape of musings.

II.

Ode To My New MacBook Pro, Purchased Today For An Eye-Rolling Sum And That Was Even With The Questionable Academic Discount, Thank You Very Much

O Mac, enshrouded in your glassy orange sleeve,
Your chitt'ring installations scored this day
Which I had thought that I would spend bereaved
Of that sweet Dell whose company I part
My dear beloved's iPhone hath seduced
My damn'd inconstant impishness of favour
And, linings of my pockets thus reduced,
I set about the sweetness of this labour
For now 'tis time for taking buddy photos
And truffle-hunting iTunes for a treat
And Pollocking with scads of silly icons
Before I limp off, struck numb by the seat.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

every little thing is gonna be alright


'I Am Legend' just kicked my ASS. I am slain. Friggin' A.

Monday, December 24, 2007

giddyap


When I get to feeling like that, there's only one place I want to go. So I went.

I was so worked up, sweating through an enochlophobic fever, pinched in on all sides by the battle around me - self-respect versus pie-in-the-sky romanticism versus incredulity versus despair - I could hardly make it to the gates. But once I did, it was okay - the too-many-speed-bumps and the gentle hummocks in the offhand pavement rocking me gently through my final approach. Sssssh, sweetie. Shhhhhhhh.

I hadn't worn the right shoes, which I realized the moment I popped the drivers' side door and my cheap flats skidded a bit on the muddy concrete. It was okay, though. I wasn't here to do business. The sweet alfalfa air swung around me like a coat as I rifled to the bottom of the trunk for the crumpled plastic bag of sugar cubes. I was happy that I'd never removed it. I stuffed some into my jeans pocket and picked my way over the little creek that was sending a fleet of maple-leaf boats whizzing toward the dressage yard.

And there everybody was, concentrating on their evening cubos - Devious Angel, Star, Merlin. The still air, which sat so cold and quiet on the stable blankets, was ruffled occasionally by the sound of hard breath, a shuffling circle, short conversations carried on in whinny.

Everybody knew why I was there. Everybody knew. As I walked along, nose after nose was thrust out against me. But my truest friend was Corazzo, a dove-eyelashed Arabian who pressed his nose to mine, then allowed me to rest my forehead deeply against his as I lay my hand on his taut, warm neck. After a long moment had passed, he gamely nipped on my peacoat buttons and pushed me around until I giggled. I happily doled him out a sugar cube and a kiss for his kindnesses.

I know why I feel so at peace here. I'm a horse, pure and simple. It's in the habits of my body; in the workings of my spirit. I weep and wither when I'm kept at stable; I only find balance in the space between the liberal application of strokings, kind words, and the threat of the crop; blinders make me safer to myself and everyone around me. To the right master I'm as loyal as I am fiercely capricious to the wrong one; I'm strong and I'm solid but I'm spooky, too; and most of all - I need to know that you know what you're doing and where you're going or I will bite and buck and run.

Friday, December 07, 2007

things i did today


1. Printed 200 pictures of snow
2. Bought the world's biggest gummi bear and shipped it priority overnight to myself
3. Ate drunken goat cheese to the booming soundtrack of Chicago's I'm Sorry
4. Called my grandma
5. Watched Andrew Bird spin harmonic gold within the ornate womb of the downtown Orpheum