What a sock in the gut - to finally try to help after the longest time of deliberately not helping, only to have it blow up on me. I used to be impossible to breathe through my anxiety over this state of affairs; now, it's much easier, but I can't help wanting to make it all better. And I can't help wanting to get this part overwith so we can get the hell on to the next part of the journey.
We interrupt this program to bring you an important news flash: I can't help. Can't do shit. Can't even begin to think about how to do shit, and so the shit-doing that gets done is a little helpless and pretty flailing.
Sucks, sucks, sucks.