Monday, May 19, 2008

to a crawl

I want everything slower.

I want slow food. Slow days. Slow transportation - walking; long conversations on trains. Slow builds and long collapses. Time to move like breath in savasana; like batter poured carefully into a muffin tin.

I've begun to experience the sensation, lately, of riding time - feeling it under me, moving steady and uncheatable and solid. Yesterday, Bear and I slipped down the Crest at the murky end of dusk, coming to a rest at one of its lower turnouts. Standing with him as our bikes clicked their cooldown to the answering crickets, I felt the weight of it pulling us forward like a conveyor.

Friday, May 16, 2008

the romance of nerdishness

I want a magical Google maps mod.

I want a shortcut on my desktop. It'll link to a realtime, auto-refreshing Google satellite map. And it'll have pindots where someone is thinking of me. And I can zoom far, far in and see what they look like when they do. Perhaps I could switch over to a hybrid map and find out exactly how to get to where they are, if they look like they miss me.

It could be thrilling. Then again, it could be very, very lonely. What would life be like if you knew for certain that nobody thought about you when you weren't standing right in front of them?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

all heart

I can't help it. I'm all heart.

Last night didn't feel much like work. It felt (as discussed with our awesome set medic) like we had all convened at an outdoor music festival venue and were waiting for the bands to show up.

(OK, it felt like that to me, at least, 'cause I didn't have to pick up any c-stands or mombo-combos or futz with the light balloons or worry about the guy getting yanked fifty feet in the air on a stunt line.)

Everyone was so cool, and the iron-bowl blackness of Malibu creek, with its crickets and owls and soft-wood smells, made me relish the experience and reach out for connection. It got me breathing deep of friendships old and new...letting out more slack in vulnerability than I generally do; trusting a little more. It let me allow the hands of night to cup my eyes, urge me forward, and surprise me a little.

I needed it. Feels good.