Monday, February 04, 2013

GTFO


I hate coming back to LA.

I always start strong; start tough. Start motivated.

Doesn't last.

LA dumps buckets over my fiery. LA plays a symphony of petty disappointments over the furtive footfall rhythm of the days. LA sallows my skin and empties my eyes of sparkle.

After a couple of weeks have passed here, the air starts to settle in my chest in rimy layers. I stop wanting to get up in the morning. I stop tasting food. An insidious grayness starts to wend its way up through the fist-clenched get-up-and-go I summoned when I first passed the city limits. It squeezes liquid from my eyes; it slithers out my lips in nonsense vitriol; it infects what I see when I look in the mirror; what I see in others' eyes when I'm standing in front of them. I start to feel ugly. Stupid. Slow.

It used to take weeks for the transformation to click into place. Now, it's days.

Tomorrow, I run.

Thank god.

1 comment:

Holly said...

Run Nette Run. It's all a ruse, propaganda to entice young, vibrant, creative minds into their lear, only to drain the life from you. They bottle it and sell it for $500 per ounce on Rodeo Drive.